I want a new (weight loss) drug

“I want a new drug
One that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red”

                                     – Huey Lewis


I think there are millions of people who agree with me, when it comes to wanting a new weight loss drug. I don’t want just any weight loss drug, I want the perfect weight loss drug.

The weight loss drugs that were once available by prescription and were taken off the market are gone for good reasons. They came with a whole lot of scary side-effects. The side effects ranged from unpleasant to deadly.

The unpleasant side effects have been described as, greasy stools, particularly foul smelling gas and worse, “anal leakage.” The drugs that stop some of the absorption of fat don’t do much for promoting weight loss but they certainly could make a user uncomfortable and maybe even unwelcome in his or her social circles.??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

If losing weight with the use of some weight loss drugs causes heart valve damage, clearly losing weight in that manner is not a way to improve one’s health.

The current crop of weight loss drugs also have side-effects, including Belviq® and Qsymia®. Mostly, however, they only help with weight loss by a very small degree. Most of the work to lose weight must be performed by the patient.

The perfect new weight loss drug would do this:

  • Improve my mood and outlook on life!
  • Readjust personal food preferences so that I love the taste and crave only good-for-you food in perfect nutritional balance.
  • Make me feel full on smaller portions
  • Keep me feeling full longer
  • Give me control to safely indulge in not-as-good-food occasionally and be fully happy with small servings even when/if offered seconds.
  • Make it impossible to sit for periods longer than one hour.
  • Give me strength and energy to engage in all my favorite physical activities and never suffer from sore muscles.
  • Lose 2 pounds a week. Faster weight loss seems attractive but depending on how much weight one needed to lose, losing weight at a faster rate would mean either wearing clothes too big or the necessity to buy multiple wardrobes at multiple sizes to ensure that the rapidly diminishing body wasn’t dressed it ridiculously oversized clothing.
  • MOST IMPORTANT! THEY HAVE A LASTING EFFECT. Stop taking them when you reach weight goal, but the effects of the drug continue to allow for perfect maintenance.

All drugs have side effects and my new weight loss drug would have them as well.

These are the side effects:

  • Lower LDL blood cholesterol level
  • Increase HDL blood cholesterol level
  • Maintain healthy blood pressure
  • Improve skin elasticity
  • Smooth wrinkled skin

And for older patients:

  • Improve eyesight
  • Improve hearing
  • restore hair loss




Jackie Conn

About Jackie Conn

Jackie Conn is married and has four grown daughters and four grandchildren. She is a Weight Watchers success story. She's a weight loss expert with 25 years of experience guiding women and men to their weight-related goals. Her articles on weight management have been published in health, family and women's magazines. She has been a regular guest on Channel 5 WABI news, FOX network morning program Good Day Maine and 207 on WCSH.