How to lose weight and keep your sweetheart

We’re coming up on Valentine’s Day and sweethearts will be celebrating their love with gifts. There is a chance, slight chance I hope, that the sentiment behind the gift may be misconstrued.

For example, if you have consistently given gifts of chocolates every Valentines day along with another token of affection, or as a stand alone gift, you should not break with tradition. This is especially true if your sweetie is a bit heavier this year than last year.


The problem is your sweetie may see a few extra pounds when standing on the scale that you don’t even notice or you might even think is becoming. No chocolates don’t convey that, “You’re perfect just the way you are,” message. It says, “Honey, you’re gaining weight.”

This same advice applies to other gifts of food and romantic dinners. Unless you’re asked to make a change, or omit the gifts of food, uphold the tradition. Here is the tricky part. Sometimes a loved one is feeling fat and has started or is getting mentally prepared to lose weight. You’re given instructions to skip the candy or the special dinner. You do as you’re bade and end up getting yelled at for honoring the request.

Women tend to do this more than men. Years ago when I was dieting I asked not to have a box of my favorite, heart-shaped Len Libby chocolates. My husband believed me so instead of chocolates he spent a little more than usual on a figure by Swarovski for me. I didn’t appreciate the exquisite crystal horse. I shouted, “Where’s my damn Len Libby chocolates?”

"Where my chocolates?"

“Where’s my chocolates?”

Oh, it gets worse. The next year I once again requested no chocolates. Of course, now he knew better, so he bought them for me anyway. My reaction was as startling that year as the previous year. Yup, I got mad again and accused him of trying to sabotage my diet. He told me I was never getting candy again. If I wanted it, I was responsible for getting my own.

"I told you I didn't want candy and you bought it anyway? What are you trying to do? Sabotage me?"

“I told you I didn’t want candy and you bought it anyway? What are you trying to do? Sabotage me?”

There are more pitfalls with Valentine’s gifts. Buying clothes for your man or woman can be trigger hurt feelings and fights. Too big, too small are obvious mistakes to avoid, but even buying the right size has started fights or hurt feelings.

Your honeybun may think there’s a message behind the gift. “Why did you buy this size? Oh, are you saying I’m not going to get to goal?”


A necklace is a good one-size-fits-all gift.


Tips for Valentine’s Day giving and getting

  • Ask for what you want.
  • Be happy when you get it.
  • Dropping hints and being coy only winds up frustrating your honey and disappointing you.
  • If you’re not clear, don’t read anything into it except “Honey did the best under the circumstances.”
  • If your feelings are hurt, say so in a way that keeps the focus on how you feel and not accusing the other person for purposely failing you.


Giving and receiving gifts between sweethearts isn’t always the problem. Sometimes the problem is a deeper, darker psychological problem. An insecure partner may feel secure when his or her significant other is overweight. The threat of losing a partner who suddenly becomes physically attractive through weight loss is real and the topic of my next blog.






Jackie Conn

About Jackie Conn

Jackie Conn is married and has four grown daughters and four grandchildren. She is a Weight Watchers success story. She's a weight loss expert with 25 years of experience guiding women and men to their weight-related goals. Her articles on weight management have been published in health, family and women's magazines. She has been a regular guest on Channel 5 WABI news, FOX network morning program Good Day Maine and 207 on WCSH.