Yesterday was a nothing-special day.
It wasn’t a holiday; I wasn’t invited to a party. It was a plain, old day and I don’t have a good reason for eating as much as I did. Worse than eating too much without a good reason, I ate too much stuff that didn’t even taste all that good.
Why would you do that, you ask? Ha! I wish I knew. Even after all these years of maintaining my weight and with all the practice I’ve had managing eating, I’ll still eat too much sometimes for no apparent reason. I can’t answer why I did it because I don’t know.
Maybe it’s like getting out of restrictive clothing at the end of the day. It just feels good to eat without any limits or restrictions. The weird thing is it really doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good in my belly or my head.
My belly doesn’t really like to hurt because I’ve eaten too much. That used to be the way it felt after every meal before I decided I wanted to lose weight. I was once used to that, “I’m so full I hurt” feeling, but I’m not anymore.
Then there is how eating too much makes my head feel, or in other words, the bad feelings and thoughts I get from my regrettable actions. I’ve been doing this long enough to know that an episode of gross overeating isn’t going to make me gain five pounds overnight. I won’t even gain a pound as long as I keep things in perspective.
Perspective is to know what I did was okay.
It doesn’t mean anything is broken; I haven’t done damage to my weight goal that can’t be repaired. Any upward fluctuation on the scale has more to do with the weight of the food I just ingested and extra fluid stored in my muscles and liver because of the glycogen.
Sometimes I’ll admit it, I lose my perspective. I panic that I’ve lost control. I need to make good for my transgression. I need to pay for eating so much in a single day. Heck! I easily ate 3 days worth of food. I need to cut back for the next few days to compensate.
I thought I lost control so I do the very thing that truly can lead to loss of control. I decide tomorrow I’ll eat very little food.
There is a liquid meal replacement weight loss plan that has its followers drinking the replacement shakes for breakfast and lunch followed by a reasonable dinner. I decide to do the meal deferment plan instead no breakfast, no lunch and a light dinner.
It never works. It sounds so logical when my belly is overly full. It sounds so easy when I am so full I don’t even want to think about food. The next morning, it still seems to be a good idea. I don’t care if I eat breakfast or not, but around 10:00 something weird happens. I feel hungry, the gnawing kind of hungry that can’t be ignored.
Since I can’t ignore it and the hunger keeps growing I eat something that most would say is a good choice. I’ll eat an apple. It’s low in calories and a good source of fiber. It gives me something to satisfy the urge to bite and chew. It’s big enough so that it should hold me all the way until it’s time to eat my sensible dinner.
It does none of those things. It makes the urge to eat more overpowering. I could eat another apple, but I know that’s not going to do anything to satisfy my hunger. An Italian sandwich, however, sounds right. I’ll eat the sandwich and I’ll be satisfied all day. I won’t eat anything else including the sensible evening meal.
I’ll need some chips to go with the Italian. Oh, and I’ll need something sweet as a “finish” to my meal like some cookies. Then it occurs to me, I’ve eaten too much today to accomplish my plan to make up for yesterday. Now that I’ve blown it today, and again, I’m just going to eat what I want for the rest of the day and tomorrow I’ll fast.
I don’t need to fast. I need to shift my mindset.
I need to challenge the belief that I must fix yesterday’s mistake by eating very little today. I need to let go of the mistake. I have nothing to pay for eating too much. I need to figure out what triggered the overeating.
“Yesterday was a nothing special day. It wasn’t a holiday; I wasn’t invited to a party. It was a plain, old day and I don’t have a good reason for eating as much as I did.”
Eureka – that’s it. The problem was I was bored and instead of finding an outlet to unbore myself, I tried to entertain myself with food. Next time I get bored my first line of defense it to walk the dog or take him to the sandbar.