Originally published 12/6/14
He usually gets a pass for his heavyweight condition, except from nutcase, anti-obesity activist Meme Roth who says, “the customary image of Santa Claus is close to morbidly obese.” She believes he should be re-invented into a jolly old elf who resembles Jack LaLane because the current Santa is not a fit (pun intended) role model for children.
The pervading theory about really fat people is they got that way because they lie on the couch, watch a lot of TV, and eat a lot of processed foods filled with added fats and sugars. It’s a popular theory and it can be completely wrong. It doesn’t apply to a lot of obese people and Santa is one of them.
He’s got toys to make, elves to manage, reindeer to feed and groom, and reindeer stalls to clean. Things get especially hectic this time of year, but don’t kid yourself. There’s no time to pig out in front of the TV. Santa never gets time off. As soon as the final present is delivered on Christmas Eve, he starts all over again to get ready for next year.
Okay, you leave out milk and cookies for Santa, and millions of others do the same. He takes a few sips and a few nibbles and when you multiply his conservative little tastes by all the houses he visits, that’s a significant amount of calories coming from carbs.Let’s remember, however, that’s only one night a year. It isn’t a reflection of how he eats daily.
We hear that Mrs. Claus is a great cook. Perhaps she could stand to lighten up her cooking a bit, but I have this feeling that she cooks pretty healthful meals. Maybe it’s not so much what she feeds him, but rather how much he eats. Maybe Santa needs to learn portion control.
I think the real problem is Santa worries too much. He worries about the naughty children, he worries about deadlines, he worries about getting stuck in chimneys, he worries about being seen, he worries about fog and Rudolph’s nose losing its glow – the guy lives with a lot of stress because he cares so much about everybody!
It’s my guess that Christmas Eve isn’t the only night that Santa stays up all night. Between all he has to do and his accelerated levels of stress, I bet he cheats himself out of quality, restful sleep. He is under a lot of stress and he’s sleep deprived. Stress and sleep deprivation have been linked with obesity.
Some contributing factors of obesity are not within our control. Santa flies around the world in an “open sleigh.” He’s exposed to a lot of pollution and scientific research seems to be uncovering that possibly pollution can be a factor in obesity.
Luckily, Santa has a huge heart, but not an unhealthy “enlarged heart!” Santa can’t change his lifestyle but his doc up there in the North Pole keeps an eye on all of his important health numbers.