There’s no denying that some people have a bad (f)attitude towards those whose weigh a lot. Some people are extremely prejudice and cruel towards fat people.
I know because I was fat and I heard the comments and saw the looks. Some people hate fat people so much that even when we’re working to lose weight or aren’t even fat anymore, we’re still the targets of bullying and unkind comments.
I wrote a blog about somebody trying to fat shame me at the Gorham House of Pizza. I received comments telling me “nobody tried to fat shame me. I was just projecting my shame of being fat on another diner.” Others messaged me to further assail my character by saying that I wasn’t treated rudely because I was fat; dirty looks I got were because my children were behaving badly. In other words, “you’re a bad mother because you’re fat.”
Do you think I’m a little touchy on the subject? You’re right, I am. It’s because you only need to walk in my old fat shoes to understand the treatment you receive when your BMI is more than 33. Of course, not everybody is openly hostile or even judgmental of fat people, but enough people are so that fat people become defensive.
I can say with all certainty that I had no shame associated with my weight. I will not allow the boorish opinion of trolls who have fat phobias to question my self-worth, value, and moral character. I only wish all fat or obese (choose your favorite word to describe your body) felt the same way!
I didn’t feel shame because I was fat, but I was ashamed of how I tried to hide my behavior. I am a person of high moral integrity. I don’t like liars. My integrity was compromised by food. I know people who haven’t experienced the power food has over people like me are disgusted by this confession. It has nothing to do with weakness or lack of willpower; it has to do with hedonic hunger.
Hedonic hunger was something I didn’t understand. All I knew is that I had real hunger pains that I didn’t know how to manage. Proximity or thoughts about especially palatable food triggered the same physiological signs of hunger as if it had been hours since I’d last had anything to eat.
Unable to control hedonic hunger I would eat, and to cover my actions I lied. That was a source of shame.
I shared a story about lying to cover up eating cake in a blog and got a private response telling me to “go eat some cake.” It’s not unusual for people working very hard to lose weight to have people with bad fattitudes sneering at their efforts, making fun of them, and sniping at them online and in person.
I have learned how to manage hedonic hunger and am no longer fat, but the person telling me to “eat cake” still found it necessary to try to make me feel bad about myself. I hope it made him (he called himself Stanley Roper) feel superior to me!
I know people justify their bad fattitudes by saying that they’re trying to help. They say I’m only doing this for “the fatties’ own good. Others use the health care excuse, “fat people make everybody’s health care costs go up.” Sorry, it’s an excuse for unkind and bully behavior that I won’t buy. Health care costs are linked to more than just obesity. Even if obesity was completely obliterated health care costs wouldn’t drop by a cent.
Bad fattitudes are simply how people put other people down to make themselves feel better. I’m not perfect. I may rub people the wrong way by saying something tactless. Not everybody is going to like me, but my weight should have nothing to do with how I’m treated.